Mark Zuckerberg is a billionaire today.
“I found 2 bucks outside the gas station and thought 'Why not buy a ticket?'”
He didn’t even realize he won until his accountants called and said they’re going to have the jiggle the taxes a little differently this year.
What’s the 34-year...
Whatever. We sell merchandise now. No big deal.
Who cares if you can wear tilted glasses with class and taste?
I mean: buying our products is a wink to the universe, is all. No big deal.
A sign for others who see with double-vision. Game recognize game.
If you...
Worried your pre-newborn baby will be born behind the times? If so, check out the new ingestible iPhone for expectant mothers today.
“Today we announce a very special breakthrough,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook. “Our exciting new product merges advances in telephony, medicinal capsules, and prenatal UI. We present to you...
Centralized Power vs. Decentralized Power
Ivanka Trump has shut down her highly-successful fashion company.
"When we first started this brand, no one could have predicted the success that we would achieve,” said the carefully poised mogul in a prepared statement. “Final metamorphosis is complete.”
Ivanka’s company began with humble roots, making clothing for women in...
We hired offshore writers from a Chinese factory to craft this article on how to get that American Dream job.
We here at The Tilted Glass hope you and your coworkers enjoy.
1) Do not mention religion, politicians, money, or sex
It’s important to be yourself, at the same time, don’t share the things...
Facebook deleted Facebook today in a parallel universe.
It was a headline that many people wanted to share on Facebook, but couldn’t, since there was no more Facebook.
“Let’s bring the world closer together,” has been the motto of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg since its inception. And with its deletion in...
The U.S. Postal Service will soon launch scratch-and-sniff stamps to welcome in the summer.
The series is inspired by the digital communication devices that have gutted the post office’s relevancy and bankrupted its fiscal books.
Included are icons for the fax machine, AOL, emails, selfies, WhatsApp, and the most anticipated...
by The Tilted Glass Ministry of Truth
Great News, Citizens!
Today our beloved Monsanto Company has patented air. Our country's leader and master, the supremely ascended Donald Trump, has signed an executive order approving such measures.
Monsanto—maker of nutritious Roundup, protector of small farmer seed banks, recycler of toxic wastes...
It troubles your soul to see rich people everywhere online and on TV, since you are not rich.
But you are working so hard at your job. You may have even made it to a low 6 figure salary. But turns out it's not all that rich. You're still working hard to stay afloat. ...
by Elon Musk, magician
Did you forget? I’m magic. You’re living in the 3D world. Don’t you want to experience higher dimensions?
Your boring bonehead questions are not cool. Your questions are so dry. They’re killing me. They’re killing you actually, slowly, taking you outside of dazzle and into robotic...
The coin is now one. Heads and tails have...
The Trump administration averted a major scandal today.
Despite a 2016 announcement that legendary Underground Railroad conductor, Harriet Tubman, would be the new face of the $20 bill, the Trump administration has delayed the rollout of the new bills. This leaves Andrew Jackson on the bill for the considerable future.
Women...
Fans are dying to know what the new non-black...
The company has rebranded itself after recent backlash over data privacy.
Companies and people have always changed their names to get a fresh start. In its early years, Backrub changed its named to the less sleazy Google. Guru Rajneesh changed his name to Osho after scandals in his free love...
Mattel has created a new Che Guevara™ Ken™ doll for their Barbie® Collection. Priced at only $29.99, Che makes a perfect boyfriend for the new Frida Kahlo™ Doll, also released this month for only $29.99.
According to Mattel:
Barbie® recognizes all male role models. The Inspiring Men™ Series pays tribute...
Death has entered the beauty business. The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.
“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death. “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”
The collection covers all the traditional...
Elon Musk, inventor and lead at Tesla, SpaceX, and SolarCity—Elon Musk, the man who many believe is our savior to show us the way via his technological dreams, apparently has invested nearly 80% of his massive net worth in bunker technology over the years. Today, suddenly, he disappeared.
A coworker...
